Fun of the Fair
by the-pasty-hobbit
Summary: A Day out for all the kids at Wammy's house. Mello, Near and Matt end up in a group together, and Mello plots ways to get rid of Near... rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

A Wammy's House trip to Blackpool.

Inspired from a recent trip, where I had to spend all day with my little sister who was in a bad mood. I mean REALLY bad. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Or Blackpool. Is Blackpool copyrighted? O.o

* * *

**Mello's POV**

Great. A whole day with Near. At least I don't have to sit with him on the bus…

"Quick Matt, back seats. NOW."

We ran up to the back of the bus to see the white-haired child of doom sat there. Matt didn't notice the problem. He sat down next to Near, and immediately took the game boy from his pocket.

"Matt, lets go sit over…" I glanced back over my shoulder to see no spare seats whatsoever. The whole bloody orphanage must be on this bus.

No, wait, the whole bloody orphanage _is_ on the bus.

"Mello, sit down."

"Roger, I am NOT sitting with-"

"Mello, let's not start this again. Just sit down."

"But Roger, I-"

"FOR CHRIST'S SAKE MELLO, _SIT DOWN!_"

I thought I had better sit down. I really did want to go on this trip after all.

I took the seat as far away from Near as I possibly could.

I looked up to see the entire bus staring at me. Even the bloody driver. I shuffled further into the depths of the chair, hoping for it to just swallow me up. And Near too.

_**30 minutes later**_

"Ear."

"Nope."

"Eye."

"No."

"Exit."

"no."

"emergency."

"no."

I looked around the bus. There was nothing on the bus beginning with E!

"Erm… eh-roplane."

"Mello, aeroplane starts with an a."

"I _did _know that aeroplane starts with an a. I was just testing you."

"Sure you were Mello. Do you give up?"

"NO! I'll never give up!"

**_15 minutes of silence later..._**

"Fine, I give up. You win, _again_."

Near woke up.

"Huh? You give up on what?"

"I-spy. What was it that began with E?"

"Elephant."

"That's cheating, there are no ele-" I turned to see where Near was pointing. Right behind my head was a giant elephant. Oh.

"Elephant travel, see Mello?"

Damn, I hate that kid.

**_In Blackpool_**

Finally. That was the worst bus journey ever. Matt was no help. I might confiscate his game on the way back. Make him play friggin' i-spy with Near.

"Right, stay in groups of at least three. Don't go off on your own."

Me and Matt instantly joined together. So did all the other kids, but they were in groups of at least three… all the other kids except one. Guess who.

"Near, you can go with Matt and Mello. Then you're a three, okay?"

Roger obviously recognised the look of pure horror on my face.

"Mello, don't try anything. Be nice to Near, he's younger than you."

"Fine..." I sighed at Roger. I'd get rid of Near somehow...

As I slinked away, Roger shouted a final warning message to me.

"By the way Mello, I've contacted the local police. If they see you without Near, they will arrest you on suspicion of murder."

Damn, there went plans A to F. And I didn't have a plan G.

Not yet, anyway…

I glanced at Near and registered the slight look of fear on his usually emotionless face. I think the grin in my face at that point may be the reason Near let out a little scared whimper.

I could see Matt's eyes roll behind his goggles. Traitor.

We walked along the promenade. We had each been given some money, plus anything we had saved up. Obviously, Near had the most.

I wasn't going to last a whole day with Near. I had to get rid of him somehow…

I saw a police officer looking over in our direction, so resisted the temptation to push Near in front of the oncoming tram.

Matt distracted me from my glorious visions on Near being flattened. "Let's go to the pier!"

I gave him 'the look'. I didn't want to go all the way up there to get beaten by Near at all the games.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease Mello!"

"Mello, there'll surely be chocolate. And you definitely haven't had any since we got off the bus."

Hmmm. Near was right. Again. I hadn't had any chocolate for at least ten minutes…

"Fine. We'll go to the pier."

"Yeah!" Matt tried to hi-five Near, but he didn't quite understand the concept. I smiled as Matt stood motionless with a big victory smile on his face and his hand held out in front of him for what seemed like an eternity. Near just stared confusedly.

"Okaaaaaaaay. Let's go." I dragged Matt away, still expecting the returning slap on the hand from Near.

Idiots.


	2. Chapter 2

Near's point of view now…. Sorry for the depressing-ness of this chapter. I just always imagined Near to be kind of depressed.

Albino Emo. XD lol.

By the way, I don't own Death Note. If I did, L wouldn't be dead and Mello would have a pet unicorn. Okay?

* * *

**Near POV**

"Right, stay in groups of at least three. Don't go off on your own."

Everyone automatically joined together with their groups of friends. I looked around for someone to go with.

Then I remembered. I have no friends.

I saw Mello and Matt in a pair, stood a little away from all the other groups. I considered joining up with them, but only for half a second. I didn't want Mello to have a crap day just because he had to spend it with me.

I saw Roger look over at me, then Matt and Mello. Oh, no, Roger, don't…

"Near, you can go with Matt and Mello. Then you're a three, okay?"

He did.

Mello's face dropped. It was similar to the look I saw on the bus when he had to sit with me. But about 50 times more extreme.

"Mello, don't try anything. Be nice to Near, he's younger than you."

As if that will stop him, Roger. I sidled over to Matt. He didn't seem to mind me being around him. In fact, he was smiling.

Wow, am I actually liked?

Just before we started off, Roger piped up again.

"By the way Mello, I've contacted the local police. If they see you without Near, they will arrest you on suspicion of murder."

…_murder_? Holy crap. This whole 'Mello doesn't like me' thing was more extreme than I thought it was.

I turned to look at Mello, to see if this was a joke.

Mello looked really disappointed, but I could see he was thinking hard.

Then he turned to me and grinned the most evilest grin I had ever seen.

I shuffled behind Matt a little. Just in case.

We wandered along the promenade. I realized I was the one walking next to the tram lines. Mello casually sidled between me and Matt…

I heard a strange, screeching, rumbly sound coming towards us. A tram.

He wouldn't… would he…?

The tram passed us. I wasn't underneath it. Good.

We walked further up the road. The pier came into view, and Matt broke the silence between us.

"Let's go to the pier!"

Mello gave him a look as if to say "Don't be stupid Matt. We are NOT going to the pier."

Apparently, Matt knew what this look meant.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease Mello!"

Wow. Matt does puppy dog eyes. The goggles kind of ruined the effect though. I tried my reasoning skills.

"Mello, there'll surely be chocolate. And you definitely haven't had any since we got off the bus."

I could see Mello thinking this through. After a few moments of deliberating, he gave in.

"Fine. We'll go to the pier."

"Yeah!" Matt pushed his hand out towards me. I flinched as I waited for it to hit my face…

It stopped halfway between us. Matt had a huge grin on his face. He kept his hand out in front of him. Did he expect me to do something with it?

I just looked at his hand. What was I supposed to do with it?

"Okaaaaaaaay. Let's go." Mello pulled Matt away from the trance-like state he appeared to be in.

We continued up towards the pier, Matt and Mello chatting away happily. So Mello _did_ smile. Well, maybe he just doesn't when he's around me.

When we reached the pier, Mello seemed to have changed his mind. He stopped outside and turned to say something to Matt. Before Mello could say anything, Matt grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in.

Inside the building, there was lots of noise and bright lights. People were crowded round various stands full of money. They put a coin in and watched it join the others in the bottom. Then they put in another one. Was it some sort of charity donation tin or something? Matt and Mello had started putting coins in a pirate-themed machine. They too were putting coins in, watching as it fell. Every so often, a few coins would fall out. I watched them as they dwindled away their supply of coins to nothing. As they left the machine, I went over to it.

At the top, there were three slots, where other people were putting two pence coins into them. I picked up a stray coin from the ground, and put it in the slot.

I watched as the coin slowly tumbled down to the moving step at the bottom. The single coin I had dropped in pushed about five others forward, and onto the platform with the most coins on it. Each of those coins pushed more forwards, making them fall through the hole at the front of the machine.

Exactly £7.26 piled up in the tray at the bottom.

I heard Mello curse loudly from behind me, followed by his usual swift insult whenever I did something better than he did.

"Near, why do you have to show off all the time? It's bad enough that you're 2 years younger than me. Come on Matt, let's go."

I looked at Matt now. He was stood staring at me, mouth hanging open. As Mello dragged him away, his expression never changed.

"But I wasn't showing off, Mello…" I murmured to nobody.

I followed them outside.

* * *

Hmmm.... Didn't really like that chapter... next one will be better. I promise. XD


	3. Chapter 3

Mello now… I like writing as Mello. It lets my dark side have a bit of fun.

I don't own Death Note. I own _a _Death Note (a homemade one that got chewed… by me…), but that's not the point.

O.o

* * *

**Mello POV**

Stupid, annoying, show-off, albino brat of a kid.

Arrrgh! Why does he have to beat me at _everything?_

"Mello, shut up." Wow. That was bold of him.

"Sorry, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did."

"Oh. Heheh… sorry."

The stupid, annoying, show-off, albino brat of a kid appeared behind us.

"Let's go try out some of the games on the stalls!"

"Near, I am not going to be humiliated here by you beating me at everything again."

Near went silent. He looked all sad and… well… adorable…

NO. Definitely not adorable. Near is NOT adorable.

"If you don't want me to play with you I'll just… go... over here… somewhere… you and Matt have fun." He turned around and started to walk away. He sounded as though he was about to burst into tears…

I promptly received a death glare from Matt.

"Fine…" I sighed to Matt.

I put on my best apologising voice. "Near, come with us. I'm sure you won't beat me at _everything_…"

Wait, that came out wrong.

Matt reminded me of this fact by a jab in the ribs with his elbow.

"Ow, Matt. Near, let's go. Hook-a-duck. Now."

We went over to the hook-a-duck stall. I chose a duck, Guess who won.

As we walked away, Near with his gigantic cuddly rabbit and me with nothing, a different stallholder called to us.

"Come on kids, knock all the cans off the shelf and win a prize!"

I looked at Near. Near looked at me.

"Sure, we'll play. I'm gonna win this time, Near."

We handed over the money, and gave the guy the money. He gave us three balls each.

"You can go first Near, then I'll throw."

This way I could copy his technique.

Near threw the ball towards the cans.

It missed completely and hit the man behind the counter on the head.

I just stared. Near missed?

After 4 seconds of staring in disbelief, Near poked me.

"Your turn Mello."

"Oh. Yeah."

I aimed and threw the ball. It knocked three of the six cans off the shelf. I was winning!

Near took his turn. He knocked four cans off… but on the wrong tower.

"That doesn't count kid. You're still winning, Blondie."

I resisted the temptation to hurl my remaining two balls at the stallholder.

I took my turn… I knocked off two. One left.

Near took his last turn. The ball flew past his untouched tower of cans, bounced off the wall and back at the cans.

He knocked them all over. From behind. Near was grinning triumphantly. He wouldn't be for long though…

One ball. One can. This should be easy enough.

I hurled my last ball at the remaining can.

It hit the can, but there wasn't enough force behind it to knock the can over. It wobbled, span a little, and then fell back into place.

Near had won.

Again.

"Bad luck, Blondie." I gave the stallholder my best look of death. He obviously registered it, as he quickly turned to Near.

"Congratulations kid! You get a bonus prize for knocking them off with one shot. Here you go."

He handed Near a huge stuffed bear and a little blue dog.

"I demand a rematch."

**4 hours later**

**Near POV**

We walked back down the pier to go back to the bus.

I now had 4 giant bunnies, 2 huge teddy bears, 2 inflatable beach balls and an inflatable banana. Matt kindly carried the bears for me, but Mello refused to touch anything I had won.

I didn't _mean_ to win. I even tried not to on some of them, but it just happened.

I hated making Mello upset. There had to be some way to make him feel better… Something we could do that I was naturally bad at…

"Fancy a game of darts, kids? Highest score wins!"

Mello laughed.

Darts…?

"Mello, let's have a go!"

"Ha! No way. You'll just beat me again."

"But Mello, I'm-"

"No. I am not playing darts."

"I'll play with you Near. Mello's just sulking." Matt grinned and dropped the bears.

I sighed. "Okay."

We went over to the stall, while Mello skulked behind us, pretending not to watch.

I threw my first dart, and missed. No surprise there. Well, apparently it was to Matt.

He took his turn. He scored low, but at least he actually hit the board.

On my next turn, the stallholder caught my dart just before it hit him in the shoulder.

"Near, I think you need an eye test," Matt laughed. Then his face went very serious as he took his next turn.

It hit close to the bullseye.

"Nice shot kid!" the stallholder told Matt. As he saw me aiming, he squashed himself into the corner of his stall, as far away as he could get.

I missed again.

"You win matt!" I smiled at him.

I turned to look at Mello. His mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

"Mello, you should have played… ow, Matt!"

Matt was now grinning (in a quite scary way) with his prize; an inflatable hammer. He had just hit me on the head with it.

Mello was his next victim.

"Yeh, Mello," Matt said, giving him a whack on the head with the hammer as he did, "you should have played. Near, you are _so_ bad at darts."

Matt was obviously on a high from his victory. Or it might have been the ridiculous amounts of candyfloss he consumed whilst waiting for me and Mello to finish our games.

Probably both.

As we walked back towards our bus, Matt sang his own version of 'We are the champions' by Queen; 'I am the champion'.

Mello had given in and just ignored the inflatable hammer hitting his head at regular intervals in the song.

As we boarded the bus, Roger took in the smug look on Matt's face and the sulky one on Mello's.

"Have fun today, boys?" His voice was slightly higher pitched than usual… I suppose Matt's victory grin was pretty scary.

Mello just ignored him and went on to the bus.

"It was great! I ate candyfloss, and rock, and ice cream and I beat near at darts! Look what I won!" Matt hit Roger on the head with his hammer and ran onto the bus, giggling in a way that I knew would haunt my sleep for a few weeks.

I smiled at Rogers expression; a mixture of confusion and fear.

"I will never again moan at Matt for spending too much time on his video games again. He's just too scary when he's not playing them…"

I smiled as I considered telling this to Mello. He could use that information against Roger in some way, I was sure.

_**END

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**_XD yaay finished!

Thanks for all the great reviews.

Take that, Miss Bowers! (English teacher) PX


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